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GOLF HUMOR
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CrossRoads Golf & Recreation Parkway
393 Hwy 281 N - Carrington - ND -
701-652-2601 |
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Golf Quotes by Famous People
If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of
lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.
-- Lee Trevino
My body is here, but my mind has already teed off.
-- Keith Michael
Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too
well.
-- Craig Stadle
Swing hard in case you hit it.
-- Dan Marino
I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d
come up sliced.
-- Lee Travino
Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of
golf… and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf. -- Jack
Benny
If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.
-- Tom Watson
They call it golf because all of the other four-letter words were
taken.
-- Raymond Floyd
The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't
improve your lie. ~
- George Deukmejian
Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down
five.
-- Paul Harvey
I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole
in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot. -- Don Adams
The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.
-- Chi Chi Rodriguez
I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's golf game. It is
called an eraser.
-- Arnold Palmer
On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating. The
other 20 percent lied.
-- Bruce Lansky
Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at
them.
-- Jimmy DeMaret
The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.
-- Bruce Litsky
I’ve had a good day when I don’t fall out of the cart.
-- Buddy Hackett
Art said he wanted to get more distance. I told him to hit it and
run backwards.
-- Ken Venturi on Art Rosenbaum
Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the
club, don’t you?
-- Ben Hogan
If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it would've been a
great shot.
-- Sam Snead
Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes
when you consider the course.
-- Lee Trevino
One under a tree, one under a bush, one under the water.
-- Lee Trevino describing how he shot one under
I'm hitting the woods just great, but I'm having a terrible time
getting out of them.
-- Anonymous
I can airmail the golf ball, but sometimes I don't put the right
address on it.
-- Jim Dent
I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
-- Bob Hope
A golf ball is like a clock. Always hit it at 6 o'clock and make it
go toward 12 o'clock. But make sure you're in the same time zone.
-- Chi Chi Rodriguez
Arnold Palmer told me how I could cut eight strokes off my score -
skip one of the par 3s.
-- Bob Hope
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than
golf has.
-- Will Rogers
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